my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
