But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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