Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
