were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
