I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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