He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
