i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
