I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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