and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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