census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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