I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
