basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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