THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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