I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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