Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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