grandma shit on top of the toilet
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
