What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
