he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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