Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You are the jesus of drinking
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