Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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