We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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