After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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