i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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