When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
