I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
