Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
