It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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