hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
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