Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
