Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
