just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
