ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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