totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
