Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
