It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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