found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
