I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i would one night stand the shit outta him
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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