Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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