Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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