Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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