I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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