I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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