Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
