Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
If its not for food we ain't going out.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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