I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
