6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize