So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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