He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize