dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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