You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
not ubering you a puppy
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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