Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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