I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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