We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Even the bartender felt bad for me
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
