If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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