the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
