I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
