Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize