Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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