i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
