God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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